half a cat

This weekend was balls hot. HOT. Yes, those kind of balls. Sparing the innocent, but the metaphor is waaay too fitting. So! The Portana is back “home” for a weekend and I’m left up to my own devices. Muhahahahha!

What did I do with such unfettered access to massive quantities of stank and hormonal imbalance? Err, not that much really. Too hot. See previous statement on anatomical weather patterns.

Portana and I ran around Saturday - shopping here and there with a final stop at the Brew Shop for me to drop the semi-annual mint for brewing widgets and thingys. For those that brew - Stainless steel ball valves and a counterflow wort plate chiller are SO the best money. We also got sprung for a Gewurztraminer wine kit. It is dead simple to do with the existing beer equipment and is promising all sorts of tasty goodness. I’m looking forward to many o summer nights spent passed out amidst a few wine bottles on the deck. The sun shall wake me!

Saturday evening did see the lawn mowed - well at least most of it, apparently 90 minutes is just 15 feet shy of done I’d have continued but the dogs were getting pretty pissed from all the close calls during twilight. Not to mention that the mosquitos tend to focus on the fleshy white part of ones buttocks. Note to the public - don’t mow nude. Between the sunburn and the mosquitos — you are gonna be lumpy and red. Dead Sexy.

I did manage to get a nasty headache that took me out for most of Saturday - I think it is from not getting caffeine. Stupid free coffee at work and my lack of will power.

Sunday was the day of days. I woke up earliesh, cranked up the coffee pot (see I do learn) and headed to the garage to get beer-a-brewin’ and stuff arranged and cleaned up. It was hot enough that I put up the canopy out front of the garage for the full RedNeck look. It is the details folks. De-tails. Did I mention that I was walking around shirtless in baggy shorts and messy hair? Truck and Harley in the driveway? Details.

Heh — De-tails makes me think of all sorts of funny things about animals loosing their tails in horrible accidents. Hrm, bed time looming…anywhoo… Once that was all setup and going - I tackled the mess in the corner. Lots of moving things around and it appears to be slightly more accessible and organized. I’m hoping I did a few flourecent bulb replacements (do NOT drop on the floor…) and hung up the tennis ball for Portana’s windshield marker. I’ve heard if your are handy around the house, drives them nuts. Juxtapose that with being handy at the bar and all you get is slapped. Women — just don’t make sense.

Anyways…I’m starting to ramble and it could get messy. Power through this! I finally finished up brewing and got the beer into the fridge a meer 15 minutes after knockout. That’s right folks - 5 gallons of 200F sugar water & hops to 62F in < 10 minutes. These are some heady times in which we live. Man, not ending sentences in prepositions is a real biotch. Sigh. Ok, headed off to Auds for some grilled Elk and veggies on the grill. Homemande smoothies (mit boozen) were quite the treat to finish off a decent weekend, albeit alone

I’d best be off to bed, I’ve got dragons to slay at work tomorrow and another day of trying to keep the giblets out of the blender.

Update Is it wrong that I called the french press the coffee pot ? Did I hurt it’s feelings?

I was chit the chatting with Portana last night and she mentioned that in (as of 11.27 am CST) 21 days, 8 hours and 30some minutes (adjusted for timezones of course), we will have been dating for a year. It is a bit sad to say — but I’d forgotten that we were coming up on such a day. I mean — I know when our “day” is and that we’ve been dating for a bit now, but I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that we’ve been “bonking” (no, not that bonking… it is an inside joke) for almost a year now. It was still kind of rattling around in my head this morning as to what the last year has been like and how dating her after this time is still a super fun time. Yes there is the inevitable “comfort” that comes with time and living together for 2 months now has introduced another level of routine behavior and interaction — BUT I’m still amazed at how we are still goofy as all heck and really do enjoy spending time together. Awwww shucks…..

So you ask — what has the last year meant? Well — here are the highlights that come to mind. Nothing too gushy or personal of course - must protect the guilty

• Harley rides, lots of harley rides. First date after the thunderstorm (hey, why do you think guys buy motorcycles?), to Roscoe for her birthday, a few trips to Rock Dodge, lots of little lunch trips in Billings, Bozeman, getting beer from Costco, wow ! We jsut need to ride a lot more here in MN!!

• Cooking - I’m the meal master, Portana kicks my butt with some breakfast thingys and all baking. I make a mean milk shake and rule the grill. She makes me want to eat healthier I keep trying to cook healthier for the both of us!

• Pets - some good times, some rough times. Just a little note — these are likely the only kids we will have and we are both thrilled about that! But the hair…oh! the hair!.

• Dealing with life - my getting laid off, her job interviews, moving, two new jobs, packing two houses up, living as a guest at Auds for a month, unpacking into a single house, getting used to living together - sleep schedules, bathroom sharing, eating schedules, finally getting the hosue unpacked, furniture shopping, the list goes on. I’m amazed how we’ve gotten through all of that without a huge “Nic you are an ass” fight. Damn, I guess we might be adults after all!

I’m sure there are huge events I’m leaving out here, but I think it is suffice to say that this first year has been an amazing adventure both personally and relationship wise. I can’t think of anything I’d have done significantly different - I’ve really enjoyed it and hope it continues for a long, long time. Well — I’d write more, but I’ve got dragons to slay here at work!

Oy yeah — I love you Babe!

Ok with the lists, but I’m feeling lazy and am going to amuse you with this one… Good times…good times.

1. My roommate and I once: Plotted to get a feret stoned and then roll him around in that plastic ball thingy.
2. Never in my life have I: Wanted less.
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile is: Mom. She knows all the stupid buttons to push, but is a super awesome person.
4. High school was: painful, but with lots of loose women and drugs.
5. When Im nervous: I talk. A lot.
6. The last time I cried was: a long time ago — I know I have, just don’t remember details or the dates.
7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: On a sailboat in the Mediteranean.
8. Would you rather run naked through a crowded place or have someone email your deepest secret too all your friends? It’s Nekkid Time. I’d probably walk for the fun of it.
9. My hair: always great. Good genes.
10. When I was 5: I broke my arm.
11. Last Christmas: Super great — too many reasons to state.
12. When I turn my head left: I see my Aunt snoozin on the sofa.
13. I should be: working out more.
14. When I look down I see: a laptop…duh.
15. The craziest recent event was: Celebrating a new job like a freakin’ rock star. 8 Manhattans do not make for a pleasant morning — for you or your babysitter.
16. If I were a character on Friends Id be: Ross and Chandler cross.
17. By this time next year: I want to own a pinball machine.
18. My favorite Aunt is: Audrey - she’s letting us mooch !
19. I have a hard time understanding: Stupid and Illogical folks. Like wiping before you poop…
20. One time at a family gathering: I was fed a whole bar of exlax and I had to take ownership of the only #2 bathroom in the entire facility. I soooo owe those cousins some payback…
21. You know I like you if: I don’t punch you.
22. If I won an award, the first person(people) Id thank: My Dog. It’s funny.
23. Take my advice: You are going to die.
24. My ideal breakfast is: nekkid time!
25. If you visit my home town: You will wonder how the hell you ended up on the other side of the Twilight Zone. Dooodoodooodooo.
26. Sometime soon I plan to visit: Philly, No Dak
27. If you spend the night at my house: You best not keep me up or wake me up.
28. Id stop my wedding if: I sobered up.
29. The world could do without: Rules, packaging, urban sprawl and stupid people.
30. Id rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Have sex with a gorilla, close but taking the cockroach.
31. The most recent thing Ive bought myself is: New Cell phone. Freakin’ Raaazor baby.
32. The most recent thing someone else bought for me is: Dinner & booze — tanks babe!
33. My favorite blonde is: The fantatic bombastic incredible Portana!
34. My favorite brunette is: Portana!
35. My car must have a sign on it that reads: Greenpeace approved.
36. The last time I was drunk: working on a good one right now. Mmmm Port.
37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: Dogs, I bet that would be funny.
38. I shouldnt have been: so bad with money in college.
39. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? No, but it was removed in other ways.
40. Last night I: Watched basketball and cooked Elk fajitas.
41. Theres this girl I know who: is scaring me at work. You are old and annoying, leave me alone.
42. I dont know: Where I’d like to live in the Twin Cities permanently.
43. A better name for me would be: nothing, names are irrelevant.
44. If I ever go back to school Ill: get my Masters.
45. How many days until my birthday?: lots, it is in December.
46. One dead celebrity I wish Id met is: Teddy Rosevelt or Abe Lincoln.
47. Ive lived at my current address since: little over 3 weeks.
48. Ive been told I look like: Conan, and you can bite me.
49. If I could have any car, it would be: Aston Martin Vanquish. Duh.
50. If I got a new cat tomorrow, I would name it: Balls. A small reminder that I have none and caved into getting a cat.

Some days just rock. I started off today by waking up to an alarm, something I do maybe maybe 10 times a year. I am a firm believer that getting your schedule in order and allowing your body to wake up naturally is light years better than cursing like a drunken sailor at a small electronic box every morning. I prefer to cuss at them all day

Anyhoo.. woke up, shower & shave, coffee, then moved towards clothes - dress shirt & trousers with a wool dress coat. I was given a ride to the airport (coffee in tow), hit security right off as I had checked in online, then off to the gate to get some good coffee-drinking-iPod-jamming-reading-book lovins before boarding. Arrived, hit Budget for my car (this is where the day started to get really good) - I was due a compact car, but somehow scored a Ford SUV thingy with leather interior. Something about wearing a dress coat and driving a leather interior that makes a man feel good.

Ahh yes — so the real reason for the trip was an interview. It went quite well, blah blah blah. Pretty standard fare for a tech interview, lunch, etc. Back in the SUV (btw - I HATE these fugging things. They are SO the new mini-van;popular with soccer moms and neutered men. They just have bigger tires and bumpers…) Got a nice surprise while there when the sales dude from my old company walks in. Sometimes the planets align just so - it was good to see him and catch up a bit. Hit the aeropuerto for the flight back, enjoying the ability to just drop the car off and run - I love direct billing. More Ipod & book, interrupted by some people watching. Women in SLC are tall. Huh. Came home, was picked up at the ‘port by the lovely gf. What is it about sexy women driving your truck to pick you up that just well… you know. Back to the shack and chilled on the sofa with dog, girl and beer. Mmm good!

Fire, kerosene laterns, Indian food (homemade of course!) for dinner, more hound-scratching and some tivo lovins. Backrub for the gf, quick email check, now off to my leather chair and the fireplace to read some more.

Some days just rock.

Update Sampling my latest beer concoction - porter with coffee & chocolate. OMFG. Yeah, that good. It is still really young yet, but I envision me trying to dance with the dog if I drink too many more of these.

Hey there! Do you enjoy newspaper ink stained fingers? Repeatedly lifting boxes over 50 lbs? Can handle hours of tedious work all the while handling valuable objects? Have nothing better to do for 4 or 5 days this week ? Can ignore boxes and boxes of pr0n? (I, uh, got it, uh on Ebay for, yeah! on Ebay…) Wouldn’t mind slaving away your days while I sit around in tube sox and underwear, drinking coffee, and trying to scratch rythmically to CMT ? GOOD! I will patiently wait here (in said underwear and sox) for you to show up to help, and I do mean in the full sense of the “royal help”, me pack up house! If I don’t answer the door right away, please just let yourself in — I’m probably sleeping.

Soo…. yeah. I’ve actually started putting things into boxes here at Casa Del Neek* (sorry P, stealing the * for side-stories). After a trip to Target to get the pasticy storage bins and bubble wrap, I managed to get all of the good dishes wrapped up and ready to move. This includes a very nice set of dishes my Grandma gave me for my b-day-slash-thanksgiving (complete with manly pink roses and gold trim), several serving platters from the Moms, and some candlesticks & other sundry items. I did manage to get it all into one bin, so I’m pretty happy about that — it should move pretty well too do to my recent experience of moving in May 2002, Aug 2002, July 2004 and December 2004. God damnit I’d love to stay in a house for more than a year or two! I’m hoping to get the books packed up next — I’ve got a bookcase loaded with them, and a smaller one in the office that is collecting a few as well. I’m guessing 4 or 5 good sized boxes just with books…which reminds me to get smaller boxen - no sense herniating this early in the process. I will save that pleasent medical event for when I try to extract my current landlords’ fingers from my prostate….

At any rate — this whole moving thing is starting to sink in. It is very very weird to think that in a short 4 weeks, it is very likely that I will be unpacking my stuff already somewhere new and starting a new job (fingers crossed). I’ve got so much stuff, the thought of it all being packed up seems downright outrageous. If I can manage to do a little at a time, I’m sure the pounds will just melt away and soon enough all my wordly possesions (some would call them “boxes of shit”) will be ready for transport to far away and exciting lands. Imagine “Minnesota” where everyone talks with an accent ala Fargo, the mosquitos carry away small children, it snows like hell hath frozen over (and yet, no Vikings in the playoffs), and strange actor people carry about their business. Fascinating — to even think such a mythical place even exists is beyond me. One would be remiss if he didn’t recant all of the scary religious fables about Salt Lake City - land of 1432 wives (why piss off more than one woman?), liquor laws that would make Jerry Falwell pucker, moral and cultural restrictions even the Bush administration can’t fathom, and skiing out of your front door. With those two options, it is tough to make up my mind. I don’t know how, but I will manage in some fashion.

• So as for Neek…it all started in college when I picked up a Russian ice skating instructor at a country bar in Philly (yes, it was as odd as that sounds). She was H.O.T, well she was until I saw her eat mashed potatoes without her lips touching…shudder…anyways — she had and amusing way of pronoucing my first name. This resurfaced in the last jobs when I went on a rampage about something and one of my co-workers referred to me as Dr. Neek. I guess it kinda stuck then as my alter-ego — I would change my “nick” to Neek anytime I was about to exercise my wrath on something.

So, everyone is right - the waiting sucks. We are in week 3 of the great unemployment fest, and frankly I’m getting a bit annoyed. I’ve heard from 4 different companies that they are “interested in talking to me about an opportunity”, after which I send off the resume to be forwarded to HR. HR apparenlty stands for “Hole of Relinqushment” - kind of like getting put on “Ignore” on the phone. I am 99% sure that these delays are not due to any personal issue with me, rather the sheer volume of data and items that need processing in these said HoR departments…but that 1% is annoying - especially when one does not have much to do and ends up with his brain re-hashing events and scenarios ad nauseum. So, yes waiting is a real PITA.

In the meantime,I’ve uploaded a few more photots for your visual enjoyment:

• little man (Portana’s wearing his Seahawk jersey during the first playoff game. He’s a hillarious little kid — it was really interesting to see how he and the Bogart interacted. Talk about mutual fear for a while, but after the initial scare, some chasy-chasy and petting was had.

• Dr. Jacks’ No. 7 Go-Kart. What more fun can you experience than metal fabrication while drinking?

Layer One

• Name: Nic
• Birthdate: 12-21-1979
• Birthplace: Waterloo, Iowa
• Current Location: Billings, Mt.
• Eye Color: greeny-brown
• Hair Color: brown, tinge of red
• Righty or Lefty: Right
• Sun Sign: Sagicorn (last day of Sag)
• Innie or Outtie: Innie, no freak here

Layer Two

• Your heritage: German, Russian, Dutch
• The shoes you wore today: 23F outside and flp-flops
• Your hair: Still have it; farm teams are increasing their output year by year
• Your eyes: bad, glasses suck
• Your weakness: women, spending money, toys
• Your fears: snakes, seeing people eating raw dough (fuggin yuck, ok?)
• Your perfect pizza: one brought to me with a beer by female following hot monkey love
• One thing you’d like to achieve: extra million in retirement.

Layer Three

• Your most overused phrase: Groovy
• Your first waking thoughts: To shag or not to shag ?
• The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: the boobies.
• Your best physical feature: eyes - i got the michevious thing going
• Your bedtime: 10 or 11
• Your greatest fear: having my fears come true
• Your greatest accomplishment: college - from MT to Ivy
• Your most missed memory: how the fuck do you know what the most missed memory is? you are missing it for pete’s sake.

Layer Four

• Pepsi or Coke: Depends - pepsi for drinking, coke for mixing drinks
• Single or group dates: single - hard to work the Magick with a crowd
• Adidas or Nike: Neither - NB for working out, flip flops, cowboy boots, Murrel (the urban models…)
• Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Not usually a tea guy - if I do it is the green Arizona in the big assed can
• Chocolate or vanilla: choco
• Cappuccino or coffee: coffee, and it better be damned strong

Layer Five

• Smoke: used to, LOVE me a good cigar. partial to Ashtons
• Cuss: Fuck no.
• Sing: Badly. very badly.
• Take a shower everyday: required maintanence for this model
• Have a crush(es): not currently, last one was in college
• Do you think you’ve been in love: Doi.
• Want to go to college: Yessir, graduated too!
• Like high school: Kinda - it was too akward to be tons of fun.
• Want to get married: someday, with the right person
• Believe in yourself: Yes, sometimes to a fault.
• Type with your fingers on the right keys: mostly, it is more efficient and I’m a lazy git.
• Think you’re attractive: I don’t scare people, but I’m not going to win any awards either.
• Think you’re a health freak: good god no. I eat somewhat healthy and workout, but not a freak about it. I have no qualms eating Wendy’s twice a day sometimes. I’ve been known to start drinking instead of heading to the gym too.
• Get along with your parents: Mom is the coolest.
• Play an instrument: Usedtacould - sax and piano.

Layer Six

In the past month, did you…

• Drink alcohol: Yes.
• Smoke: No
• Do a drug: nothing elicit
• Make Out: Yes
• Go on a date: yes
• Eat an entire box of Oreos: Sadly no, but not a bad idea for next week.
• Eat sushi: Nope, I don’t do sushi in landlocked states - bad joss.
• Been on stage: Thank god no.
• Been dumped: Thankfully no
• Gone skating: Nope
• Made homemade cookies: Nope, but my kitchen was the site of a nice production
• Been in love: yup
• Gone skinny dipping: Can we say shrinkage ? Not impressive and no.
• Dyed your hair: No, and not going to. Ever.
• Stolen anything: I can’t recall.

Layer Seven

Have you ever…

• Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
• If so, was it mixed company: lets hope so - strip poker with a bunch of dudes is just wrong.
• Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Honestly..what kinds of stupid question is that ? But of course..this last friday night in fact.
• Been caught “doing something”: Good god yes - famously so. Spotlight with a crowd, cheers & jeers - the whole nine yard.
• Been called a tease: Heck no, I’m way too easy.
• Gotten beaten up: Nope, but given out a few thumpings.
• Shoplifted: Yes
• If so, did you get caught: Yup - mom busted me and made me return & appologize
• Changed who you were to fit in: Not on purpose, but one does adapt to enjoy life

Layer Eight

• Age you hope to be married: No hard limits - 30 is a nice number for now.
• Numbers and Names of Children: Bogart (dog)
• Describe your Dream Wedding: one involving a sailboat and an amazing woman. Supporting cast optional
• How do you want to die: In my sleep - like grandpa, not screaming like the other people in the car.
• What do you want to be when you grow up: Loaded and oversexed
• What countr(ies) would you most like to visit: Spain (again), UK, Canada (again), Brazil, Chile, Australia, Russia, Germany…

Layer Nine

• Number of girls I have kissed: Enough, no really.
• Number of girlfriends you’ve had: 20 something ?
• Number of drugs taken illegally: several…nothing too bad.
• Number of people I could trust with my life: < 10
• Number of CDs that I own: lots, TONs more from the magic iTunes
• Number of piercings: zero
• Number of tattoos: 3
• Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: bunch- from sports to scouts as a kid, science fair, geog bee, conference papers.
• Number of scars on my body: tons, all worn with pride.
• Number of things in my past that I regret: only missed opportunities.

Ok, so last Monday was a bad day - I got laid off. Fuck. I’ve delayed writing about it as I wanted to get my thoughts in order and just hang out and scratch in front of the TV for a few days. (Just going to toss this in here — save me the comments telling me to “hang in there”, etc — I’m doing pretty good :P) It was put to me as a “shift of resources” - I will take that at face value and not ponder why it was me specifically. It was a pretty pleasant conversation — save for that bit about me not getting paid to do stuff any more — and I am not harboring any ill will towards the company….yet I reserve the right to be bitter at some future date.

So! What does this all mean? New job time - of course, and a very likely relocation. Salaries in Billings are no where near what I was making and it would be a huge hit to my career as a whole. I would love to find another job that would allow me to work from home (no matter where I call home, like the Pub with free wirless during WorldCup games… just warning you…), but they are very rare. I do have two very promising opportunities and a few others that I am looking towards for future imployment. One of which is a “lifeboat” from CFS that I am really really really hoping works out. I would be working in the same field on the same software with some of the same customers — a trifecta for me if you ask. Here is the teaser for those regular readers: I’m crossing my fingers for a move to the Twin Cities area or Seattle. The former being slightly more desireable for traffic reasons (riding the Sledeghammer or HD in Seattle does not sound fun). I’ve also got a bit of family there that would make the transition so much easier. I will keep you folks posted if any paperwork gets involved. Right now I have nothing in writing that makes me think I won’t be working at UPS come March.

The next job is going to have to be better than the last — getting laid off is not going to change my opinions on what I value in a job. I am almost looking to have an office to go into — working from home is great, but I truly do think that it is less than optimal in anything but a very small company where the level of communication is low. I also want benefits. Call me crazy (crazy!), but medical, dental, etc are not an option anymore. I also want a bit more mature company that the last one, perhaps with better management. I really enjoy the self-driven work environment, but I feel that coupled with working from home it devolves into a situation where I was getting burnt out too easily and disenchanted with the work. Personal problems? Oh sure - but I do think that either closer management — or at least involving the employees into some sort of structured environement — would help alleviate these issues. If nothing else, they would be noticed and dealt with a bit earlier. I have some strong opinions on the former company that I will not voice here, it would be massively inappropriate and probably harmful to all of those involved. If people from that company wish to hear what I have to say, email me offline and I can flesh out my thoughts there.

So …you ask…what have I been up to? A lot of nothing on some days — boy is that a luxury! I’ve also been quite glad at my recent re-budgeting, I think that will allow me to track and spend in a much more sane manner now that I’ve got a limited income. I took a whole day yesterday to go help work on the ’shop’ go-kart - I did a ton of welding and got the new front-end all ready to rock. That was SO much fun, save for laying on my back and welding overhead — slag burns fugging hurt. I’ve got a good swat at the laundry and the regular house cleaning too — for once I’ve not got a huge backlog of those types of things to do. I’m also starting to cleanup and start packing — might as well get ready for the inevitable. If nothing else, I’m looking at moving to a less expensive place come June. Oh yeah, and going to the gym. It burns us!

Well - that does it for now, more TV to watch.

Sunday was a day for the books. There were crepes made (for me, not by me), during which I got the house vaccuumed, picked up, fire made, and the dishes done. The crepes were fantastic, exactly like I remember having from the Crepe Truck on Penn’s campus, sans the choices of fillings. Sigh, food trucks — I miss you but not your cholesterol elevating sauces. Thanks babe for cooking!

After the gorging was done, sat down in “my chair” by the fire with a nice hot cup of java, watching the TV, reading the WSJ. Doggie was the usual cute morning self - lounging around and sleeping. Football was on soon and I spent the better part of the day making sure my butt had ample time to caress the leather.

It was one of those days where you sit there watching TV in the middle of the morning completely content (and quite warm, thank you Mr. Fire) with the mornings progress on household chores and just enjoying the relaxation. I even did a bit of work, well work in the sense that it was work related, but I was really just fiddling around with debugging some arcane problem I hit, just to see if I could get it figured out. I did, at least to the point where I emailed the original author of the code asking “WTF is this supposed to do here?”

Tangent .. so the birds. Yes I have birds. Deal with it — I have. Since moving back, and honestly getting the dog, I’ve been less than thrilled with them. The make a damned big mess. I had resolved to take less than full care of them (I’m sooo not cleaning the cage every week, etc). It turns out I was just being a bad person. I’ve started to enjoy them again, even cleaned up their cage and bought them some new shredding toys and nesting house. They are pretty cute and seem to be enjoying themselves a bit more now. Even the dog will sit in the office and just watch the birds — not sure if he is just curious or watching them like we do the lobster tank in a seafood restaurant. “Mmm, that looks good, gonna have to order that one day”. End Tangent

So — the gf is out of town this week. This likely means working late every night — a secret and disturbingly fun event for me on occasion and eating poorly. Not that I eat healthy just when she is here — I ususally cook good food anyways — but more the ‘heh, gf out, boys play’ kind of mentality that I’m going use as an excuse to make steak or deep fried mumblmumble some night. I’m likely going to be bored with myself too — Mom & Sis watch out, I’m probably coming up for dinner one night to stave of the alone-ness (different from lonliness). I’m not sure what I amd doing next weekend other than watching more football (playoffs are getting good). I should find something good to do — probably going to launder the Harley cover and give it a good bath if the weather holds above freezing. It needs it and I don’t want to ride out a dirty bike the next time it is warm enough. I just got the new J&P cycle catalog and I am having a tough time finding something that I want for the bike. There are a few minor things, but I’m sadly lacking in the gratuitous spenditure area. Saaad.

Ever since the second semester of freshman year at Penn, when I was rooming with the Rascob, I’ve laughed my arse off at this song. It really is funny. It was even better seeing it live too — and man we were HAMMERED (ok, side tangent from original post for a second) at that concert. “Handle” of Dr. Jimmy Bean, 30pk of Busch, and some other recreational substances make for a good weekend. Sigh, mispent youth and all. No wonder I got fat that year.

Anyways.. there is a lyric in there that is “give me back my money, you bitch” or something like that. So, I’ve always had a wee bit of a problem managing money. I can spend like you wouldn’t believe. Yes, I do have some very nice furniture, guns, computers, Harley (that wasn’t a impulse buy…), kitchen stuffs, etc from my shopping trips — but most of the issue is the amount of cash I can blow through. You’d think I have a serious drug problem, where in fact I have only a small one. Err, had. I do make a pretty good chunk from my job but I never seem to be able to save much, and always seem to be scraping by that last week of every month. As one of my housemates put it “You can program the Linux kernel, run clusters, and get through school but can’t balance a checkbook???”. I always imagine him saying that with the Genie from Aladdin - ” Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space.” Yeah. Good times. BTW — Thanks mdog for the fun times, too bad you couldn’t make it to Spain for the conference — as much your work as mine!

SO! I’ve taken the initiative (once again..) to use a computer program to manage my moola. I’ve made past attempts with M$ Money and GnuCash to keep track of expenses, loans, retirement accounts, etc. I started with the best intentions each time, but only to fade out of sync after a few months. I think this was due to how badly lacking each of those programs was in ease-of-use. To tackle this problem again, I have installed Quicken Deluxe 2006 and…well to make a very long story a little shorter - it rocks. I am able to download my credit card, retirement and checking information with one click — right over the web (This Internet thing is SO going to be cool once it takes off). There are fantastic tools for visualizing your balances over time, including a completely amazing (for me!) transaction scheduler. The TS allows you to put in all of your deposits and bills, giving you a graph of the daily balance. The retirement account (Investment Center) interface is fantastic. It collates all of the monthly purchase for each security and shows the loss/gain and %return for each one — so you can see where your return is coming from. There are also built in interfaces to hit Yahoo! for charts and research — not to mention comparing performance against the big market indexes.

The big new feature for me is the budget planner. I have NEVER made a budget before, and let me tell you — it is a painful process. One of my fatal flaws is the complete hatred at being restrained — personally, physically or mentally. Want to get me mad? Just prevent me from doing something with out talking to me about it. Very unpleasent, as I can be quite mean. So, restraining myself in the forms of spending when there is still 100s of dollars in the account is just hard, we are talking a completely foreign idea here folks! I started with what I usually spend per month on things and then with some fantastic help I started to prune down the discretionary items. It turns out that a few things are obvious — I have a metric ass-barn load of “mandatory” bills - Harley, student loans, utilities, rent, insurances, gym membership, pet food, etc - that I had no idea took up that much of my salary. I honestly had more bills than I realized. At the end of the day — I’ve pruned out spending totaling 25% (!!) of my net salary. Holy Shit. If I can (and I really realll really want to) stick to this budget, I will be able to pay off all of my credit cards by July and start to save for things that I want — like a surround sound stereo and leather coffee table. I might even pay off some other bills a bit early too!

So — cheers to Quicken, I guess that is my personal N.Y resolution, besides shagging more.