Cray, Inc. apparently…. It has been a while since I’ve posted some good poop humor…

So — I was standing in the hall near the restroom — the same hall that leads to the kitchen and lunchroom btw — talking to a fairly senior software manager and one of the lowlevel software guy about lord-knows-what and all of a sudden there was this “PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT” noise that came flying out of the men’s restroom. Through the closed solid wood door. The conversation stopped, we all kinda glanced at each other and then in unison burst out laughing. The phrase “give ‘er hell” was said and we walked away — not wanting to see who came out of the bathroom. There are some things that you just don’t want to know.

Because I think this way — that kinda made me think back and wonder about some of the other “bathroom events”. There seems to be either an issue with the water/coffee/deli machine OR swamp-ass is much more prevalent than we think. I’m pretty sure at least 4 times a week I’ll be in the bathroom (I really use it much more often…) and hear someone really letting one fly. If you are lucky — just a little “prrt” - but at least once a day you hear someone having a “movement” that could be described in the mildest terms as a week-long-tequilla-binge-meets-30-day-challenge-to-eat-4-bratwurst-a-day-while-drinking-giardia-laden-new-jersey-turnpike-shots. I’m really understanding now the flushing power of public toilets — sometimes you need a firehose to sink these battle-shits. What is really wondefull is how unashamed people seem to be with these conditions. Most times if you have this problem in a public restroom — you try and spread out the “frrrgggugglllefwopfwop” so that it doesn’t sound like a underwater rocket taking off. But not these folks — hand to god, I’ve heard actual straining and grunting. Give ‘er hell indeed! Oddly enough — rarely do smells enter the picture. Perhaps the fans really do work - btw, rarely is not never. Good heavens…

Now a question for the lazyweb — is this common for all workplaces? How about women ? These are things I need to know.