Ahh, yes. Again with the lack of posting. I am in TN this week for work, so going to cling to that as a good excuse. Now, without further ado, the hillclimbs story.

So — just a bit of background. The Great American Hillclimbs take place in the South Hills of Billings, MT. The race is to see who can drive to the top of the ‘Bentonite Nightmare’, aka a 400 foot hill that is just about straight up, call it 70 degrees or so. Most folks do not make it all the way up, they end up not having enough traction, motor, or momentum to get all the way up. Oh yeah, this takes serious skill and a goodly amount of balls (lack of brains works in a pinch). It is impressive, and not just from a RedNeck point of view, these are for the most part heavily customized or purpose built machines. We are talking extended swingarms, paddle tires, different suspension, not to mention that they motors are from all walks of life - dirt bikes, street bikes, snowmobiles, well you get the picture. And these folks are willing to break them — tumble back down the hill break them. It was said that it was $100 a bounce, I’m guessing it starts higher than that. Some of the riders had wonderful dismounts, the bikes flipping several times in the air and then careening down the hill until a “catcher” grabbed it and roped it off. All in all, a wonderful event if it were just for the motorhead part of it…but well, let’say it is only a good reason to party like rock stars.

Here are a few links to slightly more event related photos and videos:

Party, why yes we did! I took a fair number of pics you can find here. I’m going to pull the rest under the “more” tag to protect the innocent. WARNING Explict RedNeck behavior revealed and explained, not to mention photos of men in women’s underwear. You’ve been warned!

So we started off a couple of weeks before the event planning things out. It takes place in a field at the end of July in Montana. It will be hot and dry, so get shade. Landon found a smoking deal on pop-up canopies at Gart, so he and I picked a 10′x10′ each. Shade - check. We spent a night dinking around with how to set these things up on the pickups so that we could be elevated enough to see over all the other folks.

Oh yeah, did I mention that you are in this field with 10,000 other people? The parking lot is lined out with painted lines into rows so things are slightly organized. So we arrived at 6.30am to start setting up, mainly to get the choice spots near the front and along the isle. With it being so hot, we wanted to make sure we got a good view of the copious traffic that was sure to be there. God bless women who should and then do wear bikini tops! Oh yeah, back to setting up. I went all altruistic and sprung for the fixings for steak & eggs. Landon was kind enough to cook them up so us lazy folks could get setup and eat. We also rented a Port-a-shitter so that we could avoid the masses and their disgusting habits. Oh yeah, you know you’ve gone high-dollar when you can afford a personal toilet!

Once we were good and full, the drinking and racing started. Oh yeah, and more drinking, then we drank some, and a bit more, then got drunk and continued to drink and enjoy being drunk.

Now that we’ve consumed a good amount of booze (some of us nearly a litre of Maker’s, oof), we make way to the pond to do some skinny dipping, cool off, and drink some more. Who says that copious amounts of booze and heat do not mix? Oh yeah, this was only day 1 of 2. Suffice to say that it was a blast and thankfully I left before the strip poker game really got ugly. Oy, what is it about these people wanting to get naked?

Day 2: Otherwise known as the big party day. This is when they run the big bikes — aka the “pro” riders. The entire parking lot was packed, I’ve never seen that many people in one spot in Billings. I was pretty well queasy from the day before, as were a few others so the day was a light one for drinking so more racing was watched. We re-arranged the trucks a bit so the two canopies could cover all 4 truck beds — good idea Matt. Towards the end of the day, brains started getting cooked and between the sheriff deputies running around on their 4 wheelers to break up fights, we tried to get girls to flash us, something every group of guys within shouting (and believe me they did) distance did. Yeah, such a proud moment there :) BTW - some people just need to grow up — a little in-group drama signaled the end of happy-fun time and off home it twas for A/C and water. Lots of water.

Well, it looks like I survived the biggest party in Billings this year, so I can cross that one off the list. It was truly a blast, thankfully I had some exquisite company to keep me sane — you really do rock! I’m just trying to imagine how we will top this next year….