half a cat

A friend of mine pointed out the other night that there exists a you might be a Lutheran if…‘ joke. After growing up in rural North Dakota attending Saint Peter’s Missouri Synod Lutheran Church, I can verify that these are indeed true. For extra amusement, read them with an accent roughly that like the one in the movie Fargo. You go ahead and laugh it up, but if you don’t believe me just ask around! Ah! The rigidity of German heritage mixed with the free loving spirits of the post-reformation Christians. Good times!

For your Friday enjoyment, I’ve brazenly copied over ones I’ve experienced first hand or with slight variation…

• …your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.
• …you don’t know what was sooo funny about dat movie “Fargo” then.
• …you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter “j” as the second letter.
• …someone asks you after church if there’s any “decaf coffee” and you laugh because you KNOW that if it doesn’t have caffeine, it can’t be coffee!
• …you’re watching “Star Wars” in the theatre and when they say, “May the force be with you,” the theatre replies, “and also with you.
• …you doodle on the back of communion cards.
• …you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.
• …you know all the words to the first verse of “Silent Night” in German but can’t speak a word of it.
• …your mother reminds you often that she wishes you’d studied the organ.
• …your mother could give any Jewish mother a run for the money in the guilt department.
• …the only mealtime prayer you know is “Come Lord Jesus.”
• …you make your hotdishes with cream of mushroom soup and your salads with Jell-O.
• …you sing “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus” while sitting down.
• …you hold your family reunion in the church basement.

And now for a few of my own:

• … you looked forward to the brown paper bag of peanuts, candy and oranges after the Christmas night service.
• … you think ‘wrasslin’ or ’schvimmin’ is the official Luthern sport.
• … if pinnochle and Old Millwakee are the only ingredients besides ‘lunch’ and coffee that are needed for a really good party.
• … playing Bridge was for the Methodists and Catholics.
• … if you’ve ever had a family gathering to see “Milo the Silo” or “The Medora Musical”

I want a new car. I like cars that have a good amount of power, lots of creature comforts, don’t suck gas too bad, and look sexy. I’m not looking for a car to help get me booty (have the trusty steed for that), but rather something I am going to enjoy. I tend to flock towards larger cars, and generally European designs. The main lines of American cars just don’t do it for me. I love the new Charger and the Corvette, but can’t ever see myself buying them…seems just too pedestrian. Of course this is coming from the guy who is driving a 1982 Chevy 4×4 Pickup…but that is about practicalities…yeah, that is it.

Here are the ones I’ve been drooling over. Now I just need a spare 50K or so. I’m quoting standard features and prices where noted. This post is taking a while, so I’m publishing as I go. FWIW: I’ve year to really drive any of these vehicles, so I’m just drooling over webpages right now.

Update: Yeah, so formatting gods have prevailed. Much more of a drool fest now… Who cares what mileage or engine they have…besides, that is why the links are there you lazy gits.

So folks have been asking me what my choice is…or at least which direction I am leaning. I’d have to say either the X-Type or the A6. Depending on local dealer arrangements, maybe the S60. Those are the ones that I could likely afford (after paying off the CC and a few other assorted bills) and the insurance would not be too bad. Sadly, insurance rates might make the choice for me, given that I’ve no major hangups with the car itself. I’m not spending 50K on a car unless I love it. No eating while driving love it, clean the garage love it.

• Jaguar X-Type Sport

  • MSRP: $36,695
  • Just sexy car. Definately status symbol. Too bad there is no dealer here, repairs and service major headache. This is the car I’d buy until I could afford the supercharged V8 XK. For some reason the XK doesn’t strike me as as much of a ‘macho’ guy car as say the Mercedes SL500. Perhaps the Jag just has that bit of styling that makes it look less gaudy ?
  • X-Type
  • XK

• Audi A6

  • MSRP: $42,620
  • Again, just nice. A bit more racy looking than the Jag, but not quite the luxury feel. Still, makes me giggle. No Audi dealer either…but I think there is an Audi shop here. This seems like it would be a good road trip and mutliple-people car.
  • 

• Subaru Legacy 2.5 GT

  • MSRP: $26,245
  • Looks better in person (especially in black). I like the way this car handles, interior is pretty sexy too. I was surprised that I could like a Subaru, but I’m a believer now.
  • Yikes, no picture from dealer website. Serious points taken off for using Flash.

• Volvo S60 T5

  • MSRP: $32,045
  • Honestly, this car looks a bit less expensive than its price tag. I know, I know, book-cover-thing. There is a dealer in town, so makes that all easier. I’ve heard from a friend that has had bad luck with his C70. Then again, he did buy it on the cheap at auction and didn’t get much of a warranty. I like the lines on this car, understated a bit.
  • 

• Saab 95s (Aero?)

  • MSRP: $40,670
  • I think I’d go for the Aero model. Go big or go home. Another site that should be nerd-slapped for using Flash. I’m not sure about the nose on this one, but remember we are just looking so far…
  • 

• Mercedes SL500

  • MSRP: $92,020.
  • Yeah, a bit on the spendy side. I think this is one of those ‘my startup got purchased for 200 gazillion dollars’ types of buys. I don’t think this would ever make it as the sole car in the stable.
  • 
  • …and one I could never afford, the SLR McLaren $452,750
  • 

• Aston Martin DB9

  • MSRP: ~$170,000
  • The SL500 is nice, but Mercedes can go have sex with goats compared to this car. I think the V12 Vanquish is just a bit too much car (oh shut-up you), and this one just does it for me.
  • 

There were a few more options here, but honestly they were here just for thought, none of them are serious choices. So there you have it folks, my paychecks personified at somepoint.

So, most people know that I work from home, well I am at ORNL in TN now…but anyways. I generally enjoy working from home a ton, but I’ve started to realize the deficiencies of the methods of communication we use on the internet. This really only became obvious quite recently and amusingly enough had nothing to do with work — I was chatting with someone who I really have great conversations with, the nice deep, insightful and mind expanding kinds that are so much fun and was feeling a bit frustrated in being limited to a chat window. In retrospect, I may have started along this train of thought after working in an office for 3 weeks with people again — it is amazing how fun that really can be. I’ve heard the reasoning that the time savings from not getting ready and commuting into work are real benefits in the work-from-home category. I’ve always been quite lucky and lived within a short bus ride or walk from work and haven’t added that into the list of pros. I even keep catching myself thinking ‘boy, wouldn’t it be nice…’ while working from home. It is probably general laziness…but that is sooooo another post.

So, yeah, the real point is that I realized how chatting via email or IRC/AIM/Yahoo/MSN is so limited. I think they work ‘OK’ for technical work, but the more I get involved with project management where the needs are more on a personal and not a technical level, that the comms used really lack the ability to fully communicate The Messsage. I’d like to think that I am pretty good about communicating on a personal level with people when I am face to face, but when it comes to email or chat, that level of connection, mutual understanding, or whatever you’d like to call it, seems to really go missing and I feel like either I’ve not gotten the point across or that the other person(s) have not acknowledged that I have. Who knows, this might just be my brain craving more personal interaction and showing it by disliking the non-personal interactions.

I have found that voice conversations are pretty good for most things, especially as far as communicating raw data or discussing something is concerned, but the rhythm can be difficult to find and the conversations can get quite skewed towards one person talking more than the other, as there is no out of band (body language) way to change that.

On a slightly related note, I believe someone made the comment “Honestly, what year is it again?” in reference to some sort of technical project that did not go as expected. This whole chat thing has me thinking too — why hasn’t the technology for this really exploded ? Or has it, and has been seen in the last 5 years, the USA is just lagging behind the tech acceptance curve ? For instance, you hear all about these crazy Japanese or Finish people who use these nifty G3 cell phone features every day. Perhaps if the US had a better (read cheaper, faster and generally less sucky) broadband solution, perhaps we would have a higher incident rate of video conferencing or similar conversation applications ? Speaking of which — has anyone ever used an iSight ? I’m really quite expecting that for most anything I want to do it will be either Windows or Apple based, as Linux solutions tend to interoperate pretty poorly. I’m so willing to be proven wrong though. I’m also curious as to how well using a webcam type thingy will do for Yahoo or MSN type chatting. Hrm, food for thought, that is.

Well, its another Friday! Woot! What does that mean in real terms ? It means that today is the end of a long week of work, abusing myself in the gym and sleep deprivation. So in the spirit of good humor, here are some random thoughts on Fridays:

• Why does it always have to be the best weather of the week on Friday ?
• Working 4 days a week would be so nice. I could start drinking in earnest Thursday.
• Does the word ‘Fri’ indicate something? It sounds a lot like ‘fried’, as in ‘dude, I am totally fried’.
  • For those German speaking folks, also quite similar to German ‘Fri’, meaning ‘free’(as in beer, not speech).
• 2 hour lunches are contagious. You take one (or three) of them in one week, and then having just an hour for lunch on Friday seems like a crime against humanity. Besides, doesn’t everyone need to watch MythBusters to clear the lunch nap fuzzies ?
• Shit. I have to go to the gym tonight. Yes, it is going to hurt, but it does a body good. F@#k you, milk people and your marketing drones.
• To drink or not to drink? If I decide to go all out on playing ‘Hide the Bourbon’ with the liver, I will be hung as all heck tomorrow morning and won’t get anything done before noon. If I don’t drink, what the heck am I going to do, clean the house!?
  • To those of you thinking ‘Why don’t you just drink in moderation, say just have a few?’, I would like to respond to with this link
• Always nice when the co-workers break out the Pimpbot 5000 links.
• Girls are fun.
  • Guys - if you have a good girl, keep her, at least until she goes insane. Then run like hell. Hold on, hold on — I am saying nothing bad about women in general, just if they do go insane, you don’t want to be in range of the event horizon. Most likely there is something retarded that you could say, and given our lack of ability to say the proper thing at the right time, we will say anything that comes to mind, and viola you are running for your life.
    • Editors Note This is not reflecting any recent personal data (quite the opposite really!) I’m just attempting to be funny.
  • Girls - don’t judge us by the masses. Most guys are lacking critical brain function and don’t appreciate you. However, the rest of us (yes I include myself. bite me!) are relative gems and deserve an ever so slight break once in a while. We are, after all, the weaker sex
    • Yes, Tom Cruise is cute, but see what kind of bat-shit-crazy he has gone over Katie Holmes ? God, I must be a sap, but I wonder what Nicole Kidman thinks of all this?
• The votes are in. Christians 10, Lions 1;

I think I’ve gone off the nutty end of things for long enough! Happy Friday!

And for those of you e-voyeurs curious what this weekend, in all it’s probably unbloggable glory looks like:

• Telling the alarm clock to go have sex with itself. Unless you are getting up to run.
• Mowing the lawn. Not necessarily all that fun, but if your yard consisted of a 15′ square brick patio, you’d be excited too. Besides, I get to play the ever so fun game of ‘how-many-dog-turds-can-the-lawnmower-pick-up-with-the-bagger-so-I-don’t-have-to-by-hand’.
• A surprise BBQ for someone…happy b-day!
• Mud bogs perhaps ? Quite tempting, “I’m just not sure if I will have time”.
• Harley. Oh, how I will miss you! So let’s celebrate by abusing you and the laws of physics.

Oooh, 3 days in a row! …and all the ladies scream ‘Oh Nic, you are just a mental stud!’ Ha! That’s right, I’m packing heat and not afraid to use it! Seriously though…I know sarcasm when I hear it On a completely random tangent: Does anyone ever click on the links I include or let the mouse hover over those links? You just might want too

Work…so yeah, work. I am off to the great cultural haven of TN on Sunday again. I’m much less excited about being gone for a week this time, I’m having way too much fun here in MT. To be honest, it really feels like summer just got started and that I’m starting to move on where I want life to go in the next year or two. Now we are going to hijack it for a week (for work!!). It really isn’t that bad, but the summer keeps seeming shorter and shorter. The project I am working on is still pretty cool, and I am enjoying the limited number of things on my horizon for it. It turns out you can work and have a life at the same time, and life can be fun! Anyways..back to work (yes, I’m just a bit distracted today…) So, my role in this project has turned a bit of a corner, and I am going to blather on and geek out for a bit on it, mainly to get my thoughts in order..

So, it started off as a pretty typical ’support’ engineering consultant. Mr Consultant, please get systems X, Y, and Q up and running, test them, and see where we stand for stability and performance. Ha I say! No problem, whack-a-doodle & presto! This went all fine, thankfully. The XT3 is a big sexy pile of hardware, but no where near the X1E. It behaved pretty well, and I’m looking forward to seeing that 15GB/s I/O throughput number in the next month or two. Shhh, but that just might be a world record…sssssh! So, now that we have demonstrated decent application benefits on a small scale (one app saw 10X improvement), we are moving forward with a broader scope of small scale testing to show the benefits of putting Lustre into production on Jaguar. Jaguar reboots so often, in the 1-2 times a day range, and takes so long to reboot, that adding a pile of service nodes to the equation tends to slow down the whole reboot process. To wrap it all up — basically we need to show the gain that offsets the pain of adding these service nodes and Lustre startup to the reboot cycle.

Now, onto the fun bits. I suppose I should have registed this earlier, but the nature of my consulting to ORNL needs to change to be more of a ‘Project Manager’ rather than a support engineer. What is the difference you ask ? Well, first off, I need to be much more visible and start producing the usual status, progress and update documentation. This really is a critical piece, as I can do all sorts of organization and get people to do the ‘real work’, but if there is no representation and dissemination of that info, well, nobody but me will know that. Not good. I am OK at managing people, and dealing with the logistics and technical details of a large plan like this, but staying focused and on track with it all is not my strong suit. Some of you may remember last summer…ugh. Hrm, well really this is much better, as I know what I am driving towards, and the projects have a fairly defined scope and plan already. There will be a bit of a struggle to change the dynamics and perception of those at ORNL that I am the ‘go-to guy’ for the Lustre storage there, especially since I am working remotely 3/4 of the time. The changes are pretty significant to make, but can be described pretty simply as ‘taking ownership’. It’s mine, and I will cry if I want to!

So, all in all, not that tough to really do, just needed some thinking through for what it all means. Ahh, right on cue, there is a problem to diagnose on the test system…excellent

Ok, got a wild hair, now under ‘Blackmail Data’, you can find a link to a page that displays the last 50 tunes I’ve played through iTunes.

So, I’ve added a few of my regular reads to the ‘Interesting Folk’ section. Of special note is JWZ, besides being a bastion of all sorts of fun things for Linux, the stories and photos that he finds on a daily basis are too much not to share. I’ve shamelessly linked in a few to help spread the word…not that he needs any help with his readership

• Jewelery from the Barbie Slaughter

  • 

• Six-legged puppy found in Malaysia

  • 

• Woman charged with smuggling fish in skirt

  • 

Hey, so two posts in two days, must be some sort of record. Must be the re-awakening of the intellect, or at least the need to pontificate to the huddled masses.

As of late, I’ve had a pretty good drive for new music and books. I can track it to the 3 weeks in TN, and while I’ve not had a ton of time to read lately, with the gym and work, music is getting a good workout. Now if only iTunes would give me a bulk discount.

Books… I can always tell when I get mind-bored, I start picking up things to read that keep me engrossed for a week or so. Tom Clancy books are great for plane trips, but when you’ve got serious time to kill on the road, only some heavy lifting will do. I’m a pretty quick reader, so I mow them down. Funny enough, one of the books I would have never picked up if I wasn’t so keen on having Jon Stewart’s next baby. So, the reading lately has been:

• Making of the Atom Bomb
  • A little heavy on the personal and psychological history of each and every person — I actually started to skim these sections. The description of the science behind all of this is pure gold. It is amazing to think that not only was plutonium completely unknown, nuclear chain reactions were a myth, heck even the model of the atom and the existance of the neutron were mysteries as late as the 1920s. The science language is pretty heavy, but I managed to follow everything except for the nitty-gritty details of how the hydrothermal reactions inside the implosion actually worked. I’d suggest a cursory reading in electrical chemistry and quantum mechanics to really grok the details, but YMMV.
• Against All Enemies
  • Wow. Not for the die-hard Bush supporter. Wait, if you are a die-hard Bush supporter you probably can’t read because you are a bit blinded from the nights of reading the Bible cover to cover. Let’s see which of my friends give me guff for that one first. I really don’t have a problem with the Bible reading, except when it is done to freaking support and generate legislation for 300 million people! End Rant Oh, yes, back to the book… an excellent, and really quick read. It offers a pretty rantish and one-sided view of how the current administration dropped the ball priority-wise on the whole Islamic fundamentalist terror thing. While the book did feel a bit first person, I enjoyed it and the next book in the list vindicated 99% of the claims made. Frankly, Clarke was a bit nice about some of the claims he made, or at least the Commission was better versed in portraying the massive mess it all was/is.
• 9/11 Commission Report
  • First thoughts — amazingly easy to read. It reads like a story, not some less-than-thrilling-gov’t-report. They do a good job of hooking you with a detailed description of the attacks as they unfolded, then go into the history of the whole fiasco. I use that word with relative ease, as after reading this book, I am fucking mad. I know, family values and all, but seriously…what an entirely screwed system we have. I seriously doubt much has changed, at least in a functional sense, given current practices in the administration. Oooh, a bit ranty (not randy, well yes that too, but for entirely different reasons…) tonight! As for the history of Al Qaeda (why is it spelled Qida sometimes ?) — I was really shocked at how organized, both monetarily and logistically they were. Given that — they have the same problems any organization does: employment of dolts. Unfortunately for us, we’ve been unable to captialize on those mistakes and the terrorist field is a seriously Darwinian pitch. Now for the US gov’t agencies. Honestly folks, you think that we’d have our poop together better. I kinda expected, after media stories and such, about how badly the administrations, CIA, etc had issues with manning the pumps, but the real bummer was the FBI. I think calling them amateur Keystone Kops would be a nice complement. I fear that in the future we are only looking at smarter, more dedicated (thanks Iraq exit strategy), but slightly less funded people. I’m going to make sure my life insurance is updated and I spend some time inserting currency into the luck bank.

Phew…looks like I am swinging for the fence tonight. Let’s see if I can convince Bogart to amuse himself for a bit longer (you’d think a few miles of running would tame the little bugger for an evening, but no).

Music - talk about listening to completely different things. I’ve been keeping a pseudo-hold on the Country music scene in the last few years, but tend not to purchase many albums as most of the new stuff is pure horseshit. In the last year, there has been a lot more ‘core’ music brought back — it seems Gretchen and B&R started a trend back to the middle. I’ve actually got quite a few artists albums now that I’ve bought that I am quite happy with. Too many to list (so says the iTunes bill), but if you are playing good ‘Redneck’ or ‘Core’ Country music, I’m listening. Keep up the good work. Toby - the ‘I ain’t as good as I once was…’ is a nice move back from Douche-Bag land, but I’m not sold yet.

Now for the non-country stuff:

• Dave Matthews Band - Stand Up
  • Not too bad, a bit more mellow than past works.
• Korn, Seether, Nickelback
  • So, this all got started with Kelly in TN, listening to Nickelback in her car, but I’ve been scouring the net for recent Korn albums and newer artists.
  • It turns out that Korn has been kicking but — the last album I had was Issues, and there have been several great ones since then. I also managed to d’load a few of their music videos, total rock fest.
  • Nickelback is really good, solid music. I was cool with the standard ‘girl went buh-bye’ message, but starting to fade after playing the album 30some times.
  • Seether. Thanks Kris — good suggestion. They seem to fit pretty nicely between Korn and NB, and I am looking forward to their concert here in August…or is it Sept. I have quite a few friends that are looking to got to this too, should be a good time.
• Norah Jones - Feels Like Home.
  • Yes, Yes, — Korn, then Norah Jones. Pretty good album, that voice is just sexy. This album is a bit more playful than the first one, so kinda fun to listen to when I just need to chill.
• Revisits - lots
  • I’ve started to play quite of the ‘oldies’ songs — no, not that crap our folks listened to in the 70s, but the Ella Fitzgerald, Anita ODay, and friends that put some serious soul into those songs.
  • Celia Cruz - sometimes I just feel the need for a bit-o-the Latin love. Good times. Shit, that was out loud wasn’t it ?

So it appears my nature for being verbose is waning with the tunes — really there have been just too many good ones in the iTunes library lately to comment. Perhaps I finally need to get off my arse and add the ‘top 10′ and ‘recent 10′ tunes to the sidebar here… Hrm, I bet this would make good content for a static page…. anyways.

Hey look, Nic has managed to not write anything here in a few weeks again. I guess I am not that active writing here when there is so much to do elsewhere… So, what have I been up to? Lots I tell you, lots! So, in usual form, watch out for flying bullets.

• Work.
  • Wow, what a month. I am continuing to enjoy working for ORNL. As I am attempting to work right now, I’m going to try and not blather on for eternity. If I talk about it, I’ll be forced to not do anything today…again.
• Working out
  • It turns out that Svelte Nic is being a bit more reluctant than I anticipated. Getting old sucks. I’ve since switched gyms to Evolution. I’ve switched mainly because I sometimes need folks to drag me to the gym and the availability of work-out buddies changes during the summer.
  • Evolution kicks ass. Period. Also, drinking protien shakes is lots less painful than it used to be. They even taste good, not like the shredded cardboard of yesteryear.
• Softball
  • Since the move back to Montana, I’ve gotten to do 10K things I’ve been missing for the last 6 years. We are playing city league co-ed ‘D’ league. So far we are doing pretty well. I’m having a ton of fun!
• Girls
  • Ahh, the dilema. How much do I tell, given that some of them might just stumble across this site? I think it more fun to keep y’all guessing…
  • The Lions made an early run and attempted to suck the life out of me with a nubile young decoy, but I managed to fend of the attack through the use of my you-must-be-able-to-at-least-appear-interesting-for-the-first-date defense. The Christians seem to be coming back, with an exquisitely crafted import with a seemingly Siren ability to lure me into beaching my raft. It is quite surprising to see this new level of tatics being used in Billings, it was refreshing to meet similarily equipped warrior as myself. I might just have to revise my reporting to a more positive light, war leaves something to be desired for reporting, but hey, I’m having fun with it, so just go along for now.
  • Alive after 5 proved to be a target rich enviroment. It was fun to see people I’ve not heard from in years, as well as those people I got introduced to.

I think that covers most of the interesting bits, well ok, I’m sure I am forgetting lots of stuff, but I’m lazy and need to work.

Here are the pictures from the Memorial Day ride to the Natural Bridge.

It was a fantastic day, the weather was the best of the whole weekend. Mary & Landon rode up on their bike (the green one), I rode mine, and Matt & Mandy followed in their truck with their dogs. The drive from Billings to Big Timber was uneventful, but got in some cool 90mph single lane side-by-side riding with Landon. It was neat to hear the bikes right next to each other - there is almost no exhaust note and all you can hear is the raw motor sounds. Grunt. We also stretched out the bikes legs a bit and zoomed up near the 100mph barrier for a while. Lunch was in Big Timber at this pizza place, can’t place the name at the moment. It was really good and a nice mid-ride break. We gassed up and then headed south of Big Timber up the 2 lane road to the Natural Bridge. We putzed around there for a while, and I took a bunch of photos. The ride back started off painful - rain drops sprinkling down at 80mph make me want a full face helmet for the next road trip. We managed to outrun the rain, and near Columbus we actually overran Landon’s dad and brother. We played a nice game of ‘how fast can we go?’, with us hammering down the highway well into the triple digits. It was also the first time I have had the throttle pegged in 5th gear. Nothing like 30 miles in a little over 15 minutes Landon’s dad put all us HD guys to shame with the BMW bike — he blew by me doing 110 like I was standing still. Humbling.